GROUP THERAPY
Couples
Over and over, we’re told that marriage and relationships are hard, which is true. And, they don’t have to be this hard.
Much of what makes marriage and long-term commitment challenging, painful, and frustrating are two factors:
our individualistic culture which makes us believe we are meant to figure this out on our own, and
our lack of skills needed to make relationships last because many of our families that raised us exist in that individualistic culture
Due to how our culture is now structured, we’re responsible for choosing and vetting our mates on our own; figuring out how to navigate enormous, overwhelming stressors that exist in a capitalistic, individualistic society: work/life balance, raising kids with minimal communal support, caring for aging parents, financial stress (and all of that is before we even get to the grief, loss, and other emotional aspects of life); and, somehow maintaining romance and sexy vibes through it all while our nervous systems are on fire just trying to live.
That’s a lot to ask. And it’s not realistic.
For years and eons before, marital conflict was worked out with help and support from the community. Our vows tend to pretend this is still the case, but it’s rarely operationalized, leaving couples feeling shame, isolation and hopelessness when the road to marital bliss turns into a bumpy dirt road riddled with potholes. Not to mention that our individualistic culture and many of the families that raised us, because they exist in that culture, do not foster the skills that we need to make relationships last. So we’re left to sort it out ourselves, with no roadmap, few role models, and while being bombarded with social and cultural messaging that values individualistic approaches that backfire when we’re trying to co-construct a relationship and a life together. And that’s before we even get to the trauma one or both of you bring into your relationship. (You’ll heal that, too.)
Our Group
We aren’t meant to figure all this out on our own. When couples are isolated into their own households, as American couples are, we tend to assume that we’re the only ones with this problem, leading us to feel shame about ourselves and our own inability to not do it better and get it right, or to blame our partner for being the real problem and reason for our common misery. This group serves as a balm to these realities, and your nervous system, allowing space for couples to work together, in a communal space, to see that the problems they share are common, normal, and need not be steeped in shame. Couples learn that the issues they’re having aren’t hopeless, and can be shifted and addressed through learning new skills, and practicing them, in a nonjudgmental, validating space that nurtures the self-compassion, and mutual compassion, all couples need to thrive.
Our Therapist
Lisa Kays, LICSW, LCSW, LCSW-C
Lisa Kays is a psychotherapist in private practice serving Washington, D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and Oregon. Lisa works with adults to strengthen relationships whether it be with oneself, a partner, kids, work, a substance, family-of-origin, or the world. She works with individuals and couples, and is a seasoned group therapist with over a decade of experience witnessing the reality that while our individualistic society believes one-on-one therapy is superior, really group therapy is where it’s at: cheaper, more efficient, more healing, and yes, even more fun.
Join Us
We aren’t meant to figure all this out on our own. The issues you’re having aren’t hopeless, and can be shifted and addressed through learning new skills and practicing them, in a nonjudgmental, validating space that nurtures the self-compassion, and mutual compassion, all couples need to thrive.